Walking to Starbucks early this morning the breeze carried the sweet smell of lilacs and honeysuckle bushes and made me wish that Instagram had a sensory button so I could share the delightful moment with all of you. It made me think of an experience I had years ago.

We have two other couples we’ve done life with for 25 years.  It started with a get-to-know-you dinner when we first moved to Minnesota. We held hands around a table to pray that night and have been holding hands ever since.  We’ve cried at gravesides together and danced the weddings of our children. We’ve laughed hysterically on boat rides, and hiked in Montana together. These are our table people.

One evening after I had experienced a particularly wounding encounter we were together and they asked how I was doing.  With them there was the safety of “home” and the love that encouraged all the ugly cry blubbering, bitter, wounded honesty I could pour out.

After they had listened for a long, long time, they gently surrounded me and anointed me and put their warm hands on my weary shoulders and prayed for me.  We hugged, and as John and I drove home I noticed that my clothes had absorbed the scent of perfume and after-shave from the hugs of my friends. The fragrance of Jesus they carried with them had rubbed off on me and strengthened my heart.  

I was reminded of 2 Corinthians 2:14 “But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of Him.”

You will have all different kinds of relationships in your life. Some will be depleting; you’ll give more than you get. Others will be like sandpaper – uncomfortable, but helpful at smoothing your rough edges. Some will just come, like water the waiter pours at a restaurant; you have little choice when it comes to family or co-workers. But look for the people you will regularly gather around your table prayerfully.

Look for friends who can listen deeply, speak truth, and cheer for you always. Choose friends who will drop things at a moment’s notice show up for a crisis. They’ll do silly stuff with you, but also do the hard work of helping you paint the nursery in your new house. All that is important, but the most crucial thing to sniff for is the fragrance of Jesus on them. Because over the years around the table, holding hands and hugging and praying, it will rub off on you.