Yesterday John and I and a few staff from our church attended the Catalyst One Day in Minneapolis.

This is a day-long conference where there’s worship and Andy Stanley and Craig Goeschel take turns sharing leadership lessons.


They are both amazing leaders we admire, so we were ready to learn more about the secret sauce that makes them that way.


Don’t you love days when you sit back in a workshop, and take ALL THE NOTES, and are “fed” til you feel like it’s Thanksgiving evening and you’re in a turkey coma?

You feel like you’ve done AN IMPORTANT THING when you take home your little notebook crammed with GREAT IDEAS. You’re sure it will make you a better leader just by holding it close. Am I right?


So yesterday my favorite session, the one I was sure was going to transform me into “AMAZING ANDY LEADER” was his first talk, entitled “That’s a Great Question”.

The big idea was that great leaders ask great questions and one of the most powerful, clarifying and disturbing questions a leader can ask is:

What would a great leader do?

Andy fleshed it out with a lot more, but that was the basic idea. At the end, he added, “If you’re married, what if, when you go home and are going through your day and come to a decision point, you ask yourself, ‘What would a great husband do?’ or ‘What would a great wife do?'”

Hmmm…. Yeah, well whatever…

So John and I got home late afternoon.

We walked into the house and he did something terrible, unforgivable, mildly annoying.

I gave him a look. (You know the one. Don’t pretend you don’t. The one that would shame even Mother Theresa).

He made a mean remark to put me in my place and left for a bike ride while I went to make dinner.

The end.


When John got home I was sitting in our study. He came in and sat down. He said, “I’m sorry. What I did and what I said earlier is not what a great husband would do or say.”

I said, “No, what I said is not what a good wife would say. I’m sorry.”

Note: He went first. He initiated. I had the easy part.

It’s so easy to take notes and feel like because we have the information we’re magically different. It is so dang hard to actually do the work of obedience, application, responding to those nudges from the Holy Spirit that say “Go. Apologize. Make things right. Start again.”

I am over the moon thankful I have a husband who does what great leaders do, at home as well as in ministry.