Tag: Trump

Who Are Your “Others”?

I posted this picture yesterday on Instagram. It was taken right before I was mugged.

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I was violently grabbed in broad daylight and things were ripped from me. I’m totally fine, just shaken up and feeling a little vulnerable. I only share this because I think we are all feeling vulnerable these days.

We may all feel like something has been ripped from us – a dream, a sense of understanding, a relationship…

Great divisions have been revealed where we were living with some illusions of unity. We thought things had gotten better.

Many feel fragile instead of safe.

Some fear being attacked for their beliefs or their politics, or the color of their skin.

Here’s the thing…our inclination may be to expect the worst, to retreat or hide, or just huddle with “our people”. Instead we need to link arms as my friends did with me and venture out again, looking for the Imago Dei in others.

In the afternoon we went out (with a chivalrous protector), found a street dance, and jumped in.

But jumping back in doesn’t just mean getting out there with “our people”.

It means choosing humility and vulnerability, laying aside a certainty that ours is the only right perception.

It means finding the “other” and listening and loving them well.

It seems we have a lot of “others” these days, but it’s different for each person. For you the “other” may be

a minority or immigrant you feel is taking jobs away…

or a gay person or a straight person you feel uncomfortable with…

or a Muslim you don’t understand…

or a conservative Christian who quotes the Bible in a judgey way and seems confidently self-righteous…

or someone who voted for Trump…

or someone who voted for Clinton.

Who are your “others”? 

Think of the person who, when you think of them upsets you or distresses you the most. Got it?

Me too.

Now call them up and invite them to have coffee with you. You can do this!

I’ve invited one of my “others”, and although I want to say “WHAT THE HOLY HECK WERE YOU THINKING???”, here’s what I’ll say, “You are my friend. I respect you. I know you have a kind compassionate heart. I want to know you better. Help me understand the way you think about ___________________________________.

Your situation or relationship may be different, but the last sentence is the important one, right?

And then I’ll listen.

Hard.

To her.

And to Jesus who says “No matter what, they’ll know Me by the way you love – not just with words, but by your actions.”

Paul joins him, writing…

 In light of all this, here’s what I want you to do. While I’m locked up here, a prisoner for the Master, I want you to get out there and walk—better yet, run!—on the road God called you to travel. I don’t want any of you sitting around on your hands. I don’t want anyone strolling off, down some path that goes nowhere. And mark that you do this with humility and discipline—not in fits and starts, but steadily, pouring yourselves out for each other in acts of love, alert at noticing differences and quick at mending fences. Ephesians 4:1-3

What Do We Say to our Daughters and Sons?

Back in the 90’s we grappled with how to talk to our kids about Bill Clinton’s immorality.

Yesterday a dad with two daughters asked me and a couple other moms with grown kids how he ought to talk to his 11-year-old about what she is hearing about the Trump tape.

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He started a conversation, driving her home one day recently and she said “Oh I know all about that! I hear about it at school”.

Here’s the thing. Our kids may have INFORMATION.

Our daughters and sons may know that WHAT they are hearing is wrong, but they need to know WHY it is inappropriate and HOW to be strong and brave in potential situations they may find themselves in.

If there is one regret I have as a mom it’s that I didn’t coach my kids for awkward situations more.

The good news is that this terrible tape and election in the gutter gives us a chance to reiterate with our daughters (and sons) that they are fearfully and wonderfully made. God has created them inside and out as amazing bundles of uniqueness to be cherished – treated with respect, and honor.

Over and over again as they go out the door we need to remind them that they are precious masterpieces of infinite worth.

And then we need to say…

If someone uses lewd, crude language that offends you…

If someone talks about another person in a way that is degrading…

If someone asks you to do something that makes you uncomfortable…

If someone touches you in a way that is unwanted…

You are the boss of you.

You are the boss of your eyes and ears, your mind and body.

You ALWAYS have a choice. God has made you of infinite worth and so you look up, not down.

You may be scared, but you whisper the prayer that never fails: “Help.” Then you stand tall and use your voice. You say, “STOP! THIS IS NOT OK!”

  • But what about the value of tolerance?

This kind of behavior is evil and evil is never to be tolerated.

“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men [or women] to do nothing.” Edmund Burke

  • But what if they laugh at me?

You pity them. You look them straight in the eye and say, “Your laughter does not make me less than.” I am trying to respect you and I expect you to show me respect too.

 “Strong men — men who are truly role models — don’t need to put down women to make themselves feel powerful.” Michelle Obama

  • But what if they call me a prude?

Words matter. They can hurt . But when that happens you wrap yourself in this word: “BELOVED”. And you remember:

“A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.”  Luke 6:45

May God work even this together for good in our homes. May we raise brave, kind, strong sons and daughters who respect themselves and others.

“When they go low, we go…”

© 2024 Laura Crosby

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