Tag: service

3 Things to Leave Behind When You’re Traveling Rough Roads with Someone

January 25, 2017 /

I am so grateful John and I get to travel a lot. But travel is not without its challenges.

We have one rule that we stick to no matter what. We never take more than a carry-on suitcase.

I don’t remember for sure, but this could have been implemented the year that John had to borrow underwear for a week when his luggage didn’t arrive in Zambia.

This afternoon I’m packing for another trip. This trip comes on the heels of losing one of our closest friends, suddenly, to a brain aneurism. It’s got me thinking…

Traveling with someone through loss, we need to travel lightly. Just like there are certain items I need to cull out in order to pack in a carry-on, there are unhelpful things we need to leave behind when we are walking through a hard time with someone.

So, here are three things I’ve learned to take out, and leave behind when going through a crisis with someone:

  1. Leave behind right to be offended. This is NOT about you. Forget your ego, your pride, your wants and prioritize what the grieving person wants. No matter what. The wife of our friend who died was wise and brave to say she didn’t want people around her right away. Close friends could have been offended, but they knew this wasn’t about them.
  2. Leave behind control/schedule. When life feels out of control, our inclination is to try to bring order. We want to do anything we can to fix things. We think we’re helping, but we need to let go of our need for control and convenience and just report for duty.
  3. Leave behind assumptions. We all know that every loss is different and everyone grieves differently, but even tiny assumptions need to be tossed. There was someone I was sure my friend would want me to call last week, to take that off her plate, but I was wrong. Other people she wanted me to call, I was surprised at.

I’ve written more about this before, but I’m interested in your thoughts. What has your experience been walking with others on rough journeys?

 

When You Don’t Have the Gift of Mercy

October 7, 2014 /

So, something you might need to know about me: I was born with a mercy handicap.  

Actually, we say that everyone in our family seems to be deficient in the mercy department.  When it was gift receiving time we got ones like “charging the hill” and “being really loud” and “often wrong, but never uncertain.”

Yesterday there was more evidence of the deficiency in my life.

Daughter Maggie who’s in grad school at Berkley has won all kinds of honors and scholarships.  She’s been chosen for organizations with names that sound like Most Brilliant World Dominators of Tomorrow and stuff like that.  But recently there was a big scholarship that she applied for.  Big, as in she and Austin could probably retire on the amount of money they were going to give her.  And she thought maybe she had it.  But then she didn’t.

Enter Mercy Mom! (Maggie is my ICE – “In Case of Emergency” fyi).  My response to her news is in the blue. Continue reading

Kingdom Come Small

February 20, 2013 /

One of my favorite verses in the Bible is “Who has despised the day of small things?” (Zechariah 4:10)

It’s comforting.

It feels like a personal p.s. after all the flashy miraculous fire-and-rain-prophets-of-baal-showdowns.  Like God’s saying “That’s not the whole story.  And you, even you – person of small things – have a part to play in my kingdom capers.”

I feel reassured by this.  This reminder that in the economy of God there really are no small things.

It makes me think of Bill. Bill with two artificial knees, one artificial hip, and steel in his spine and in a worldly sense, a person of small things.

Bill is a fixture at our church.  A remarkable man with a remarkable gift of hospitality and a servant’s heart.  Rain, sleet, or snow he is out in the parking lot in his orange vest, directing traffic, or holding the door for someone or helping someone out of a car.

Don’t despise the day of small things.

For the past 5-6 weeks there has been an older gentleman coming to the early Sunday service at our church in a cab. He uses a walker and his name is Vic.

This past Sunday he was waiting for the cab sitting on the heat register in the entryway after church.

As the cab pulled up, Bill opened the car door for Vic.  He started to get in and cab driver came and took his walker to put in trunk.

Ollie, (another greeter on Spirit steroids and person of small things) said “Hi” to the driver, asked him his name. And then, “Would you like a cup of coffee?”

Don’t despise the day of small things.

The driver, Ali, a Muslim gentleman, helped get Vic strapped in back seat, and Ollie came back with a cup of hot coffee, saying “Be careful, it doesn’t have a lid.”

The driver said “thanks” and drove away.

Don’t despise the day of small things.

Such small things!  No big deal.

But what if…

What if this was the first gesture of kindness this Muslim man experienced at a Christian church?

What if Ali told his friends about this faith community and it was the beginning of a bridge?

What if the care Vic received was the only gracious encounter of his day?

What if a cup of coffee, or an open door, or a welcoming smile was part of a much bigger thing God was at work doing?

What small opportunities has God given you to be part of His work in the world?

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Three Words from an Inconvenient God

June 20, 2012 /

Don’t you hate it when God shows up and is just so darn inconvenient?

You know how I wrote about the book of Numbers, and God’s irritating penchant for obedience on Monday?

I didn’t like that post.  I thought it was booooring.

Remembering…obedience… yadda, yadda, yadda…

Well, the problem with writing a blog is that then it’s out there.  And then I’m more…you know… accountable.

Continue reading

What are the best RAOK’s…really?

March 30, 2012 /

On Valentine’s Day I heard something on the radio in the morning.  It was charming…a random act of kindness if you will.  A barbershop quartet, dressed in white tuxes was going around serenading random women for Valentine’s Day.  The woman behind the counter at McDonalds.  The receptionist at a Dr.’s office…Random acts of kindness.

Then recently I heard about a new phenomenon called “cash mob”.  The idea is that 100 people get together and agree to go to a certain mom and pop type store or restaurant and spend at least $20 each to help them out in this bad economy.  Cool idea, huh?

It made me think about the power of a time when a group of us set out to try to bless people in big and small ways throughout the day.  We left coins in the machines at a laundromat.  We handed out bottles of water at a bus station.  We paid for the meal of the person behind us in the drive-through and left calling cards that said “You look great today :)”.

I’ve been trying to be aware of ways that I can offer random acts of kindness.  But then I heard someone the other day who said “God is a going to and dwelling with God.”  And it brought me up short.  Because it’s true.  Jesus left His cushy home in heaven to come and be with us in our mess.  Emmanuel.  And yes, He addressed the mess, but first He was with us.

Maybe there are times when my “being with” is more meaningful than my “doing for”.  Maybe the random act of kindness I can do today is to slow down and look into the eyes of the checkout girl at Target and ask the name of the waitress who serves me, and stop to ask my neighbor how her daughter is doing, and sit and listen to a friend’s story.

What about you?  In what ways might you practice “random acts of kindness”?

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