Tag: holidays

Soul Food for Advent

December 5, 2019 /

Monday morning I sat in my Starbucks in Minneapolis one last time, and today (Wednesday) this is where I’m sitting with my coffee in Luzern.

John and I are serving as short-term interim co-pastors at the international church here. A pastor had to leave suddenly (thankfully everything is ok) and we were able to put some stuff on hold and jump in quickly . We are loving this new adventure in a beautiful city with a wonderful church community! If you want to follow along, I’m posting on Instagram and Instagram stories. There is no snow yet and probably won’t be until maybe January. The climate is more like London, but we are surrounded by mountains.

We’re fighting jet-lag and trying to remember what day it is. We are so so grateful for new friends from this faith community who have greeted us with such incredible grace and hospitality!

When our luggage didn’t arrive, they delivered jammies and underwear! Candles were lit when we walked in the door, and our apartment is stocked with everything we could possibly need!

One of the passages that God has spoken to me about this season in Switzerland that also ties into my post last week on being where your feet are, is this from Jeremiah to the Israelites when they were in exile:

Build houses and make yourselves at home.

Put in gardens and eat what grows in that country.

Make yourselves at home there and work for the country’s welfare.

Jeremiah 29:5,7

In other words, invest and seek God where you are!

Advent has already started, so I’m going to post this gathering of resources early instead of waiting til Friday. Enjoy! And let me know in the comments what you’re doing to make the season meaningful!

For a delightful Advent podcast, check out Strengthening the Soul of Your Leadership.

I had the privilege of participating in two years of retreats with The Transforming Community. If you have a ministry leader on your gift list I highly recommend Ruth Hayley Barton’s book, Strengthening the Soul of Your Leadership: Seeking God in the Crucible of Ministry. Ruth uses the life of Moses to draw out principles that guard your soul.

For many, the holidays are very difficult. Here are a couple of really good articles and a good reminder that might make you smile:

When Grief Looms Heavy over the Holidays

Facing the Darkness

Also, check out The Best Holiday Music Playlist Ever . This is so great – has categories for every mood or occasion!

And some inspiration from Instagram…

Ann Voskamp
Bob Goff

That’s it for now! Have a great weekend and let me know what’s going on with you in the comments!

Mothers or Not Day

May 12, 2018 /

For most women the challenge of living through Mother’s Day joyfully each year is pretty much like getting out of Target without spending at least one hundred and seventy-nine dollars. It’s a unicorn. A pipe dream.

It tends to bring up ALL OF THE FEELS. Yes, joy, but also, lament, shame, longing, anger, fatigue…

There are single women who long to have a husband and kids, and married women trying desperately to get pregnant when each month, they cry in the bathroom with evidence that denies it.

There are kids of all ages who have lost their mothers, or have strained relationships with their moms.

There are moms with kids who are prodigals, far from home, and moms whose children have died, and mothers whose kids are struggling with emotional, physical, or intellectual challenges.

There are mamas who are overwhelmed with littles, who feel like every other mom is Mary Poppins, and they’re the only one without a magical carpet bag of tricks.

And others who feel guilty that they should feel more grateful, but Just. Feel. Tired.

These are legit.

Jesus says “Come to Me… with all of it. I am your safe place, your refuge, your cheerleader, your comforter. And like a loving parent holding us, He pats us gently and says “I’m here…I’m here…It’s gonna be ok. You’re doing great. Just hang on.”

Maybe we could find some way to say that to each other this Mother’s Day?

 

SaveSave

Three Questions to Prep You for a Dysfunctional Family Gathering

November 17, 2017 /

John likes to say he grew up in the Simpson family and I grew up in the Cleaver family.  For those of you born before this century that’s the Leave-it-to-Beaver-all-american-solve-the-oh-so-dramatic-problem-of-someone-telling-a-white-lie-in-30-minutes-and-live-happily-ever-after-TV-family-of-the-1960’s.DSC00619

I share that only because we’re coming up on Thanksgiving and Christmas and every holiday that involves families gathering together.

Some of us have dreams that look like this:

 

But reality can often look like this:

And as wonderful as my family is, and as much as I’d like to think they’re perfect, I’m resigned to face the truth that there is no such thing as a fully functional family.  We live in a broken world and we’re a broken people – dysfunctional in some way, every one of us.

It’s a little comforting to know we have some not-so-stellar company in Bible families.

  • Lot got drunk and slept with his daughter.
  • Joseph’s brothers sold him into slavery.
  • David refused to deal with his son, Absolom’s sin.
  • Abraham slept with his wife’s servant.

Not exactly “Minnesota nice.”

“How is this encouraging?” you say!

Well, in spite of their sin, God forgave, redeemed and used them.  There is hope for all of us.

For those looking forward to Norman Rockwell gatherings this week, praise God.  But for those who are going into the crazy zone that is your family, what are some things you can do to prepare?

Think of the person or people you will see who brings out the worst in you. The person who tries your patience, or shames you, or prompts you to act like your two-year-old self.

Consider these insights from Henry Cloud:

“You can’t control outcomes. You can only control your behavior. Focus on that and you will get better outcomes.” 

  • What is it in you that needs to change?  What can you control?

“No one can manipulate you unless you need something from them….figure out what you need and you will discover the source of their power.”

  • What are you looking for from someone else that only God can perfectly give you?  Approval?  Forgiveness?  Love?
  • What can you authentically affirm in each of your family members?  A kind word can diffuse a lot of tension.

Most importantly, though, maybe prepare by praying.  Hands open.

Lord, I bow before You, marred, and messed up, just like the rest of my family.  Help me to see myself and Yourself more clearly.  Give me grace to cover the offenses of others.  Give me humility to ask forgiveness where I have offended.  Give me courage to speak the truth and pursue healthy boundaries.

So as you anticipate being with family sometime during the holidays, is it with excitement or  a knot in your stomach?  Are you going in prepared and prayed up?

5 Questions to Save Your Holidays from Family Drama

November 21, 2016 /

This is a repost from a couple years ago, but I need the reminders so I thought you might too 🙂

It’s three days before Thanksgiving and Christmas is just a ho-ho-ho away.  For most of us that means more family interaction during a season when we’re often physically, emotionally, and spiritually stretched thin.DSC00629For people who are trying not to gain weight, they say the most important thing is to go into food intense situations with a plan.

As I look back on our early days of marriage, there are things we could have done to set ourselves up better for success.   We could have used a plan!  So here are a few ideas…

1.  Talk ahead about expectations.

Ask: What’s ONE thing you are most looking forward to and  ONE thing you fear (or dread)?  If you’re married talk about these with each other and then make sure to find a way to communicate with family members you will be spending time with.  Same thing goes if you’re single, but in either case, make sure you ask others about their hopes too!  Just knowing ahead of time what others are thinking helps you to adjust your own expectations.

2.  Acknowledge and make allowances for different wiring.

This was the text from my pastor husband this morning: People are so over-rated.  I don’t see why Jesus likes them so much…they keep wanting to talk! 🙂

The holidays mean throwing together introverts like John who get energy from alone time, with crazy game-loving extroverts like my relatives.

Early in our marriage when 25 of us were crammed together at my parents’ cabin for Thanksgiving we’d look around and John would have disappeared.  We’d find him huddled in a dark corner of a bedroom reading a book.  At first that felt unacceptable!  Rude and crazy!  Why would anyone not want to spend every festive minute together with my wonderful family, playing Monopoly (loudly) and putting on talent shows??

Ask: Who in our family needs space and alone time?  

3.  Be aware of what joys and sorrows, and hot-button issues family members are bringing to the table.

Are there people in your family struggling with infertility and others who are newly pregnant?  Someone celebrating a new job and another dealing with loss?  Are there ways to be sensitive and honest about the difficulty of rejoicing with those who are rejoicing and mourning with those who are mourning?

Are there issues where our family has differences?  In my family, thankfully we’re on the same page on most of the hot topics like religion and sports (:)), but we have differed some in our parenting styles.  We need to be aware of communicating mutual respect and support and reserving judgment in this area.

Ask: What are the topics that might lead to tension or pain?  

4.  Consider what needs to be reconciled or reframed.

Unfortunately, for many families, the holidays are the only time during the year when everyone is in one place.  This can lead to misunderstandings that can fester with lack of proximity.  Someone says something or does something that hurts our feelings and because time is short we withdraw and let the wound deepen during the year.

Ask: Are there any relationships in my family where I need to ask forgiveness, or do I need to talk about hard things in order to reconcile?  

This might mean setting up time to go out for coffee to have that “crucial conversation.”

Ask: Or, are there ways I need to protect myself from toxic relationships that are abusive or bring out the worst in me?

This might mean reframing your view of a relationship, or limiting your time together.

Really, each of these questions is just a way to ask “How can we love each other well this holiday season?”

Does one of these four suggestions or five questions resonate with you?

Romans 12:18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

Five Questions You Can Ask to Save Your Holidays from Family Drama

November 24, 2014 /

It’s three days before Thanksgiving and Christmas is just a ho-ho-ho away.  For most of us that means more family interaction during a season when we’re often physically, emotionally, and spiritually stretched thin.DSC00629For people who are trying not to gain weight, they say the most important thing is to go into food intense situations with a plan.

As I look back on our early days of marriage, there are things we could have done to set ourselves up better for success.   We could have used a plan!  Yesterday I shared the following with a young married couples community I shepherd at our church, but these  guidelines for a holiday plan apply whether you’re married or single… Continue reading

© 2024 Laura Crosby

Theme by Anders Noren — Up ↑