Tag: hiding

What Katy, the Samaritan Woman, & We, Have in Common

Dear Precious Katy,

Today you start your new job – a big, important change-the-world job, and we’re so proud of you!

I know your kindness and competence will win the day, but I also know that as you carefully choose your professional outfit this morning, the “hyper-responsible you” will be worried.

You know there will be days when you mess up, or there’s a misunderstanding, or you have to say hard words, or ask forgiveness in your job, just like in all of life.

And you may feel like you did when you were 5 years old and wrote this sign, taping it to your bedroom door.

“Do not come in!  P.S. I will be under the covers.”

I think what you meant (what all of us often mean) is: Continue reading

When Mistakes Have Been Made and You Want to Hide

I’ve titled this series “When Mistakes Have Been Made”, but I’m thinking that may minimize what we’re talking about and what many of us experience.  Maybe the title should be something more like “When you’ve messed up messier than Lindsay Lohan.” or “When your sin seems like a toxic waste dump”.

The problem is most people are doing the best they can.  They’re trying really hard to do the right thing.

Sometimes as a leader you make an error in judgement that hurts many like friendly fire.  Other times you feel like you’re walking through a land mine of personal sin. But you long to do better.

Whether it’s your personal choices, or identifying with a community that has behaved badly, sometimes you just want to hide. I’ve written about silence and lament, but clearly there’s more.

When I make mistakes I think I want to hide, but I realize I really want something else.

This is a note I framed that Katy wrote when she was about 4 or 5 years old.

IMG_3323 In case you can’t decipher it it says,

“Do not come in! P.S. I will be under the covers.”

In other words, I’m hiding, but I really want to be found. I want you to find me and love me no matter what I’ve done or how bad I’ve messed up. 

Isn’t there a part of all of us that feels that way? A desire to be known. Found. Accepted no matter how big the mistake. No matter how “not good enough” we feel.

I’ve been thinking lately that I should hang another picture underneath this note.

picture of the Samaritan woman at the well. The woman trying to hide in plain sight, going to the well in the middle of the day – like an obese person shopping at Walmart at midnight – so she wouldn’t be shamed by critics.

It struck me recently when I was teaching on this passage… What is it that she runs back and tells everyone after her encounter with Jesus? What impacted her the most? “Come see a man who knew all about the things I did, who knows me inside and out.” (John 4:29 MSG). He saw her and He still accepted her. She mattered to Jesus.

Just a reminder. In case you’re feeling like you’re under the covers and no one knows, you’re wrong. God knows. He sees. He loves you. No matter how “not good enough” you are.

 

Hiding in Plain Sight

Confession:  Some days are just “mess-up-not-good-enough-sin-over-and-over-again” days.

Of course, every day is that in reality, but some just feel more that way.

John has been out of town so I’ve been more (the operative word being “more”) careful about locking up.  The other night after resting secure, I was ready to leave for the day, opened the door, and discovered this:

Yep, not the brightest bulb.

I can laugh this off, but there are other times… There’s the sick feeling I get when I say something insensitive, or neglect to say something, or compare myself to someone else who HAS said, or done just the right Jesusy thing.  The times when pride or selfishness or bitterness seem to win the day and I’m so ashamed.

I think I want to hide, but I realize I really want something else. Continue reading

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