Tag: formation

4 Benefits to Reading (most of) the Bible in a Year

Confession: I am afraid this post is going to come off like one of those neat and tidy, happy clappy “Life is so good with Jesus” posts that are true as far as they go, but can make everyone feel queasy and a little “less than”.

That is NOT what I want. But I also can’t deny the powerful effect committing to a “Read through the Bible in a Year Plan” has had on me. Yeah, I’ve always read the Bible before, but this has been different. And yes, I’ve missed a bunch of days, but that’s ok.

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So…Here are few things I’ve experienced reading the whole most of a lot of the Bible in a Year Continue reading

Four Names to Change Your Day

As I write this it is still dark out.  I woke up like I was walking into an action movie in the middle – my mind spinning like a kick boxer doing a roundhouse (not sure how I know that!). As I drove first to Starbucks and then to my little “office” I thought how preoccupied my mind is with “to do’s” and how much I long to be preoccupied with Jesus.

This is one reason why I love being outside in the morning when it’s still dark, the stars quiet, and sure. It reminds me of the bigger story – the one that shrinks the to-do list in my pocket.  The expansive night sky helps me right-size. God keeps the world spinning while we sleep – amazing.  It reminds me of my smallness in a good way.

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Part of the process every Advent of creating space for Jesus to be formed in me is focusing on His names from Isaiah 9:6.  It’s another way of trying to “right-size”.

Which of these names do you need to be reminded of most this Advent season? Continue reading

Carry-Ons and What You’re Reading

It’s Fearless Friday, but I don’t feel like writing about fear. 🙂   

John and I are leaving today for a couple of weeks in Zambia and Tanzania with our church and World Vision.  Not to be braggy, but we kind of pride ourselves on our ability to travel light.  We rarely check bags, but always use carry-ons.

The one place this proves problematic for me is with books.  Now when the Kindle came out I was thrilled because I knew it would be a great resource, at least when we travel. Think of all the space we could save!  157 books in the size of less-than-one!  Never mind the fact that it takes me 39 days to read just one.  I’m an optimist.

John has adapted well to the Kindle and uses it all the time, but me?  Well, I’m too tactile, too visual, and maybe just too remedial.  I need to be able to flip back and forth, to review what I’ve read and quotes I’ve underlined.  I also have this weird thing about wanting my full sized Bible with me that has all my notes and dates and underlines.  I just seem to “know” it better than other Bibles.  We’re old friends.

Bottom line?  I just hate using the Kindle and only submit when absolutely necessary.

Which brings us to this trip.  I have so many books right now that I’m excited about reading!!  Here are a few that I’ve finished and some I’m looking forward to. Continue reading

Pregnant, part 2

This week I’m thinking about Mary and three spiritual practices that may help us prepare for Christmas.  You can read the first in the series here if you want.

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As I write this I’m in a lovely setting, looking out over our snowy Minnesota – an outward picture of peace and calm that is definitely not what I’m feeling inside.  In my fingers and toes and stomach is… fear – that indefinable tingly, insufficient, I can’t get it done emotion.  I need to do, to create, to produce and I don’t have it in me.  I’m not enough.

Is that feeling more common at Christmas than at other times of the year?

Continue reading

Pregnant, part 1

Good morning!

As we move closer to Christmas it’s easy to let the busyness of preparation hijack my attention and ability to be present to God, so I thought I’d share posts this week that will each focus on a different spiritual practice that might be helpful.  It’s important for me as a spiritual ADD girl for sure, and I hope helpful for you too.

peace,                                                                                                                            Laura

I love Mary (as in mother of Jesus Mary).  Which is a little weird cuz I really bristle at some of what sometimes feels like the overboard Catholic put-her-on-a-pedestal-next-to-Jesus stuff.

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She’s no shiny white above-the-fray-bullet-proof other-worldly woman.

But still.  I think she’s amazing and I’m fascinated with her.

Continue reading

What are you Waiting For?

Last week I was down in the Chicago area because my mom was having surgery and I wanted to be there to help out and cheer her on.

Her last words as she was going in were “Isn’t he CUTE??” with a gleam in her eye as she pointed to her doctor.  Her first words out of surgery were “How does my hair look?”  Her doctor warned her not to sell her leftover Oxycodone on the street corner.

She’s scrappy and has a remarkable spirit and my dad is devoted and I wasn’t really needed, but it made me feel better to be there.

On the day of her surgery my dad and I spent pretty much all day in the waiting room.  I’m not a good wait-er.  At all.  As a wait-er

You’re not in control (When are you ever, really?  But it feels worse when you’re waiting).

It feels like you can’t DO anything constructive.

It feels like everyone else is going on with their life and you’re on hold.

Most of us are waiting for something.

I have friends who are waiting for a husband.  Or a wife.

Friends who are waiting for a prodigal to return.

For an acceptance letter.  Or a baby.

Waiting for a diagnosis.  Or a cure.

Waiting for a job.  Or someone to need them.  Or a place where they feel like they’d be missed if they were gone.

Recently, I heard Holly Furtick speak on waiting, and something she said has been rolling around in my brain ever since.

She said, “What seems like a pointless or painful waiting room can be God’s most productive workroom.”

I thought “Aha!!  I love being productive!  She’s going to talk about what we can DO to CHANGE things and get out of the waiting room!”  Not so much.

The work that we do while waiting is most often soul work.  Inside stuff that requires patience (Does anyone like that word?), obedience, discernment and cooperation with God.

In the waiting room of the hospital where Dad and I were they had this nifty flat screen and on it were listed all the patients in surgery for the day.  It tracked their progress, from pre-op, to surgery, to recovery room, to permanent room.  In addition, if the surgery was long, they’d send word out with a nurse as to how it was going.

When I’m waiting I could really use a spiritual progress monitor showing exactly how I’m doing and when it’s all gonna be over.

But instead of even enduring in the comfortable, clean lounge of a hospital, waiting often seems a lot more like we’re survivors of the Titanic, clinging to God among the wreckage in cold, dark water.  Disoriented and desperate to do something.

Every once in awhile we’ll flail our arms and try to swim to shore deluded into thinking we can swim the hundreds of miles on our own.  But we realize we can’t and we go back to clinging.

Clinging is the work of the waiting room.

We cling and we say “Lord, help me to see you. Somehow.  Today. Even for a second.  Help me to focus on Your purpose rather than my problem.”

And slowly, ever so slowly, the wait results in just a little bit more of the weight of His glory being formed in us.  Maybe the moment when we get the job or the baby or the whatever, isn’t the big deal, but rather the thousands of moments you choose courage and hope as you cling to the One who loves you.

One more thing…With my dad in the waiting room, it was easier because we had the company of each other.  So, today, if you’re waiting and you’re reading this, know that you’re not alone.

What’s your experience of waiting?

What Formed You in 2011?

Tuesday night was daughter Maggie’s last night at home and I asked the family what they felt had been the most formative relationship, experience or spiritual practice for each of them this past year.  Like, what has God used to mold us into people who are hopefully more like Him?

I’m thankful they’re a patient, gracious bunch and they humor me when I pose these questions from time to time (As a side note however, we have totally bombed at the Crosby family Scripture memory challenge, but that’s another story).  In answer to the formation question, what the two girls shared was related to a spiritual practice.  For my husband, John it was an experience.  How would you answer that question?

Mine was an experience too.  For me, processing loss  that I’ve experienced on a bunch of different fronts over the past few years, was what I felt God used to form a deeper understanding of His character resulting in greater peace.

As I processed the losses I struggled to trust that God was still at work on my behalf for His glory.  At one point this year I was riding my bike and in my spirit I ranted, “God I keep showing up, but it sure doesn’t feel like You are!”

And quietly, gently, I sensed the Holy Spirit respond, “Oh yes I am.”

And in that moment I realized that I was equating “showing up” with ACTION.  My way.  My time! (like immediately).

After that little interaction, God kept bringing to mind example after example to correct my misperception.

“You may have experienced loss, but…

I am at work in unseen ways like with Elisha, surrounding him with horses and chariots (2 Kings 6:15-17)

I am never late.  I have a plan like with Lazarus (John 11)

I hear and respond whether you see it right away or not like with Daniel (Daniel 10:12-13).”

“God is a God who sometimes hides Himself but never a God who absents Himself; sometimes in the dark, but never at a distance.”  Matthew Henry

We’re all works in process, right?  We’ve never arrived.  But I think my answer to “What has formed you?” would be wrestling with God in loss.  And what He seems to be forming is trust and peace.  Slowly but surely.  What about you?

As you look back on 2011 what has been the most formative relationship, experience, or spiritual practice in your life?  What do you think God desires to form in you through it?

Awake My Soul

I’m not a hipster.  Not even close.  I’m always consulting with my daughters to make sure what I’m wearing doesn’t look like I’m the stereotypical un-cool homeschooled kid on the first day of public school.

So even though I know Mumford and Sons and love their song,“Awake my Soul”, I honestly didn’t think of it in choosing the domain for this blog until some of my hipster friends pointed it out.  It was what they thought of immediately.

I was thinking of Awake my Soul in an eyes-wide-open-aha-oh-I-almost missed-that-burning-bush way.  But whatever.  I totally missed the cultural reference right off the bat.

Last summer was a more embarassing miss.   One morning I was teaching at church.  It was very early.  (I want you to remember that).  I had to stand up in front of a room full of people.  When we were done and people were leaving, I walked outside and glanced down.  There were two different sandals on my feet.  I know you’re thinking, “What sane person doesn’t pay attention to the shoes they’re putting on?  Or look in a mirror!?”  It was dark, ok?  And to my credit (if there’s any credit to be gotten here), they were both brown sandals.

And then there was the day a couple of years ago I left the car running and locked my keys inside.  For an hour.  While I was at Starbucks.  Again, paying attention?  Maybe not so much.

Last confession.  When I was a junior in college (I KNOW you’re not gonna believe this but it’s absolutely true), I once put a cup of salt instead of a teaspoon into a recipe of lasagna.  Flake?  Mentally challenged cook?  A.D.D.?  You make the call, but clearly I wasn’t paying attention.

Why in the world would I share these humiliating experiences with you?

  • I’m telling my deepest darkest secrets so you will too.  Ok maybe not.  But I really do want to be authentic so you will see this as a safe place where you can be honest.  And I REALLY want you to know (in case there’s any doubt) how much I don’t have it together.
  •  I really love the philosophy we should take God seriously, but ourselves not so much.
  • These “misses” are minor, but how much am I missing the many significant ways that God wants to delight, convict, amaze, whisper to me each day in His desire to make me more like Him?

The refrain of the Mumford and Sons song says                                                                 Awake my soul                                                                                                                                    For you were made to meet your Maker                                                                                     And you were made to meet your Maker.

I think one of the ways we pay attention and meet our Maker is by encouraging each other – sharing our own experiences of seeing AND missing God.                      What about you?  

Have you ever made an embarrassing mistake because you weren’t paying attention?

What helps you pay attention to God’s work in your life? 

What discourages you from paying attention?

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