Tag: focus

One Secret For Everyday Battles

John has a yearly board meeting in the U.K., so we tend to take a couple of extra days when we can, to see something new. This year we packed a lot into two days.

My husband is much more into history than I am, so when he got excited that we were going to be near a battlefield outside Hastings I said “Woohoo!” without much true enthusiasm.

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Turns out the Battle of Hastings in 1066 is a pretty big deal and was a fascinating visit with an audio guide that revealed several leadership, marriage, and faith lessons I’ve been thinking about ever since we left.

The bottom line in this battle is that Harold, new king of England (by questionable means), was defending Great Britain against William the Conqueror from Normandy (his name kind of gives away the story), who wanted to be boss of the island too.

At one point in the battle, William’s French soldiers mistakenly got word that he had been killed. They lost heart and started to retreat with the British soldiers hot on their heals.

William got wind of this and galloped his horse over to that part of the battle. He lifted his helmet/mask thingy, revealing his face and yelled something like, “I’m alive! Don’t lose heart! Victory is in front of you, only death behind!”

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The men, energized, inspired, and encouraged, turned around and eventually they won the battle.

I just keep picturing this leader, lifting his mask so his troops can look him in the eye and know that all is not lost.

I think of God, lifting His mask and showing us His face in Jesus.

I think of all the times that the battle seems too much…

We’re discouraged, tired, overwhelmed, lonely. We feel beaten up.

We forget who we are and whose we are.

But every time we open the Bible, God lifts His mask again. This is the secret to winning our daily skirmishes. We see Jesus and we receive encouragement, inspiration and the assurance that He has the battle in hand.

This is what the Lord says to you_ ‘Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s.

Three Questions to Ask Yourself When You’re Waiting

“Waiting is our destiny as creatures who cannot by themselves bring about what they hope for. We wait in the darkness for a flame we cannot light; we wait in fear for a happy ending we cannot write. We wait for a not yet that feels like a not ever. Waiting is the hardest work of hope.” Lewis Smedes

The other day a young mom asked if we could meet for coffee.  I had no idea what she wanted to talk about so when she said, “I want to ask what you’ve learned about waiting.” I’m sure my expression must have conveyed the incredulity I felt.  I wanted to say, “What??! Waiting  is one of my WORST things!

Couldn’t you ask about Gilmore Girls trivia or how to hone spy skills so you’re ready in case the CIA calls?  Those are my good things!

But no, it was waiting she was struggling with.  At least I could empathize because I’ve done a lot of it.

I remember the time I got trapped in my OBGYN’s exam room, sitting in my lovely paper gown on a table for an hour “And NO PHONE!” to call and remind someone I was there. Tiptoeing paper-garbed to the front desk did not seem to be a reasonable choice, and I thought as soon as I got dressed the Dr. would show up.

Even if not stuck in a Dr.’s office, most of us are waiting for something.  Waiting for a job or a baby or a husband or healing or whatever.

Turns out a lot of us can relate to not being good “wait-ers”.  The Today Show talked about a recent study that said: Continue reading

How Happy are You?

Recently I heard about a fascinating study that I’ve been thinking a lot about.  Researchers asked a group of singles two questions.  The first time, this is what they asked (on a scale of 1-10):

Question #1 How happy are you?

Question # 2 How many dates have you had in the past month?

They found a weak correlation between how happy the responders felt and how many dates they had had recently.

BUT THEN they SWITCHED  the order of the questions:

1.  How many dates have you had in the past month?

2.  How happy are you?

Tricky.                                                                                                                                             And you know what they found?  All of a sudden there was a stronger correlation between dating and happiness.  Those who hadn’t had as many dates believed they were less happy.  Because they had been asked the dating question first, that’s what they were focusing on.  Researchers called this phenomenon, “focusing illusion”.

Your focus impacts your reality.

As I was thinking about this, the person who came to mind embodying this truth is my grandmother.  “Grams” was a hero of the faith.  A remarkable woman who focused on God’s faithfulness.  She became legally blind late in life, but instead of focusing on what she wouldn’t be able to do, her first response was, “Well, I have a really nice phone voice.  Maybe I can call anyone who comes to visit our church just to welcome them.”

Then she had another idea.  She and my grandfather felt prompted to give $1,000 to a mission organization caring for the blind, but they had no money.  Really, no money. But instead of focusing on what they didn’t have and couldn’t do they participated in a “run” in which they got sponsors to support them walking once around an olympic track.  Grams had my aunt write down hundreds of phone #’s in black marker, large enough for her to see and she called everyone she knew.  That’s a lot of calls to people who mostly gave $25 or $50.  None more than $100.  When they hit$1,000 they sat down and laughed and cried over what God had done.  The following year they raised more.  The year after that Gramps had died, but Grams persevered, raised $3,300, walking with her great-grandson.  At 92, the last year she walked, Grams raised $4,000.

Grams focused not on what she couldn’t do, but what she could.  Not on the “can’t’s” but on the “cans”.  Her focus determined her reality.

And now she and Gramps are in the “great cloud of witnesses” cheering us on, encouraging us to “run with perseverance” even if we can’t see clearly.

Is there someone who has inspired you by their focus?

Birthdays and feeling the Awesomeness

Here’s an email one of our daughters sent to friends recently, asking them to save October 15th.  Why that day?   Here’s what she wrote:

“Because it’s magical.  Because it’s the day of my birth!  And I demand that you all celebrate with me.  I don’t have an exact plan yet, but you can assume that it will involve you all, celebratory beverages, and you all telling me how glad you are that I was born. “

I love it!  Now of course she was writing that tongue in cheek.  She’s not at all arrogant, but unlike most of us, she does have a pretty healthy self-image. 

I, on the other hand, am more like the rest of the world, and deal with insecurity in varying degrees depending on how many cookies I’ve eaten, a song I heard on the radio, and the barometric pressure that day.

I LOVE Mark Batterson’s thought: “Our focus determines our reality.”

Am I focusing on ME and how I stack up compared to everyone else?  Or am I focusing on GOD and the truth that I am a beloved child of His and He delights in me?

That’s is why this little exercise I read in a Beth Moore study has been really helpful.  Thought I’d share it for Spirit Stretch Friday.

Personalize Romans 8 by filling in the blanks.

“I am convinced that neither _____________nor _________________will be able to separate [me] from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Your first thought might be, “Oh that’s nice”, but really think about it! What would YOU put in the blanks today?   Is it a person who’s been critical, a loss, a failure, ?

Do you struggle with insecurity?  How do you deal with it?  If you’re a man is it different for you?

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