Tag: anxiety

What’s at the Root of Your Loneliness and What Can You Do About it?

Recently, a pastor I was listening to, shared some information that I haven’t been able to stop thinking about (and not in a happy clappy way).

Back in the late 80’s and early 90’s, scientists experimented with a closed ecological system in Arizona called Biosphere 2. I don’t do science or math and maybe you don’t either, but stick with me.

They created rainforest, ocean, wetlands, savannah, and desert inside a dome in order to see if something similar could be used in outer space.

Here’s what happened. The trees grew quickly, but then fell over!  One commentator said, “the lack of wind created trees with much softer wood than that species would normally make in the wild. They grew more quickly than they did in the wild, but were harmed in the long run as a consequence.” 

This stuck with me because I’ve been thinking about how much comfort and convenience has become an idol in our (MY!) lives.

We’re so committed to comfort and convenience through technology that there is less and less “wind” in our lives to help deepen our relational roots with God and others.

Think about some of the ways we try to prevent any relational wind in our lives.

  • We order through Amazon, or mobile order our coffee so we don’t have to interact with an actual person who may be irritating to us, and we get what we want as quickly as we want. Like magic!

  • We attend online church (if we attend at all) so we can cherry-pick the communicator we like, with the music we like, at the time we like, and fast-forward through anything that might be boring or challenge our status quo.

  • We keep our heads down, eyes on our phone screens to protect us from awkward social situations and prevent us from ever having a moment to look around and be present to God and others.

  • We stream movies so we don’t have the inconvenience of driving to a theater, or text an excuse and bail at the last minute because we don’t feel like going out.

We choose to be consumers at the cost of community.


Again, I really don’t want to think about this, but I see 3 consequences of this abundantly technological life of no wind:

1. It gives us the misperception that we are God.

We are in control of all of the things, so what need do we have of fostering a closer relationship with the true sovereign God? Is technology our new tower of Babel? Where we originally got off track was in our desire to be autonomous. To “be” God. We’re not. He knows what we don’t know. He sees what we don’t see. He is our good and sovereign creator. We were meant for a dependent relationship with Him.

2. It isolates us,

preventing us from the comforting and spiritually formative relationships God created us for.

A new report suggests that 36% of all Americans—including 61% of young adults and 51% of mothers with young children—feel “serious loneliness.”

The effect of all this technology is comfort, yes, but also isolation. Loneliness. Connection comes at a cost.

A friend of mine had been a barista for years, but recently quit, partly because with mobile orders there was so little of the human interaction he loved.

3. It makes us less grateful.

We just moved back from the Bay area of California where the weather is close to perfect. Basically 72 degrees and sunny. Every. Day. (almost).

That’s great, but you start to take it for granted. You never have to adjust or adapt. Someone I knew planned an outdoor wedding with no contingency plan for bad weather!

Here in Minnesota I think we are over-the-top obnoxious about our gorgeous summers and falls because the winters are so harsh. The grit makes us more aware of the gift.

We can’t control the weather, but the ability to adjust the thermostat of our lives in so many areas dulls our senses to the work of God and His image in others.

SO WHAT??! Why choose what feels inconvenient? We’re weary of all the “wind” of the war and the economy and politics and Covid.

Deep breath. That’s not what I’m talking about. Instead of giving into the anxiety that these things produce, maybe pray:

Lord, today, may I not forget my need of you.

May I look up and around more than I look down at my phone.

Help me to listen with my eyes as well as my ears.

Prompt me to pause to pet puppies, compliment the cute dress on the stranger in line at the grocery store, make the soup for a sick friend, go next door to welcome the new neighbors, and bike to church even when the preacher of the day isn’t my favorite.

Make me a world-class noticer of the longing, the loneliness, the battered and the beautiful, all around me.

When I see something, remind me to say something – “thanks”, “sorry”, “wow.

May I show up when it’s easier to shut down.

May I be a truth-teller and a grace-giver instead of a canceler of relationships when things get uncomfortable.

May connecting with You and others trump comfort, and may commitment take priority over the convenience of staying home.

Amen

Soul Food for Hard Times

I’m a 7 on the Enneagram. That means I love all the parties and do what I can to avoid anything close to pain, but we all have to deal with it, right?

I really prefer to put fun and beautiful stuff here for Soul Food, but the past two weeks I have felt like we need to see links like these and hear lyrics like those from Lauren Daigle’s “Rescue”.

I hear you whisper underneath your breath
I hear your SOS
Your SOS

I will send out an army
To find you in the middle of the darkest night
It’s true, I will rescue you

God will rescue you.

And for an awesome interview with Lauren Daigle that has such inspiring stories of practicing the presence of God in the everyday stuff, check her out on the That Sounds Fun Podcast.

If you’re asking, “How will I ever get over this?” , this Proverbs 31 podcast series on the intersection of Theology and Therapy is excellent. Episodes in the series deal with stages of forgiveness, reconciliation, and redemption in all relationships, and restoration of broken marriages.

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Writer Lysa Terkeurst, counselor Jim Cress, and theologian Joel Muddamalle speak in round table fashion on each episode of this series.

If you ever deal with anxiety or depression or are walking alongside someone with mental illness, or if you’re a parent who feels out of control, me too. You’re not alone. You have companions in the darkness.

I received an advance copy of this book and the discussion guide that comes out August 20th. Shades of Light (which you can preorder now) is engrossing fiction about a young woman struggling with anxiety and depression and the people who walk with her through it. The book is also an invitation to spiritual transformation in the company of others. I highly recommend it, but understand it may contain triggers for some.

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Ok, that’s it for this week! Hope you can get outside and drink deeply of the beauty and goodness of God! Come say hi over on Instagram, and I’d love to hear if you have resources to share that have been helpful to you!

5 Strategies for Anxiety

I’ve always seen myself as a strong person.

I’m up for a challenge. I don’t get scared. I’m not timid. I travel the world, will talk to anyone, and am always up for an adventure. Given that, I was really caught off-guard a few years ago when seemingly out of nowhere, I experienced a physical feeling of absolute terror. I felt like I was hyper-ventilating…out of control…racing thoughts…A panic attack?

“This is not ME!” I wanted to shout.

As I mentor young women, the most common confession I hear from them is that they are dealing with some degree of anxiety. It is hardly surprising given the speed of our lives, the conflict in our nation, and the 24/7 bombardment of noise. Add in the gray drear of February in MN and you have a perfect depression cocktail!

I know there’s no quick fix, and I’m not a trained therapist, but I thought I’d share what I tell myself and others when anxiety or depression creep around like a stealthy jaguar waiting to pounce.

  1. Get help. You are not alone. There is no shame in what you’re feeling. Set up an appointment with your doctor and a Christian counselor. Do your part (including getting medication if that’s what your doctor recommends) and trust God to do His.
  2. Slow down – say “no”, observe Sabbath, get sleep. What are the guard rails you have in place to protect yourself?
  3. Turn off the things that amp your anxiety – news, tv. books. Pay attention to what’s going on when you are most anxious.
  4. Lean in to relationships, experiences, and practices that bring life and peace. Make a list now. Praise music, exercise, an encouraging friend, getting outside? Our friend Mark Batterson reminds me:
  5. Affirm the truth. Satan is a lying liar and can distort anything. What are the lies you hear in your head when you’re most anxious? “You’re worthless”, “You can’t do this”, “You’re all alone – this is all on you” ? List them and then go to God’s Word and write down statements of truth (1 Peter 2:6; Psalm 32:7; Psalm 3:3;  Psalm 51:12; Philippians 4:7; Psalm 71:20;  Psalm 41:11; James 1:2-5; Psalm 37:23-24; 1 John 4:4; Hebrews 4:16; 1 Kings 8:28;  Psalm 91:4; James 4:7-8)

Lastly, a couple of resources for anxiety reducing practices:

Abide is a guided prayer app that I use. You can choose the topic, choose background music (or a rushing stream like I have), and the person praying (there are definitely some I like better than others). Some of the prayers are more like Lectio Divina, and some are Examen prayers.

Breath prayer – Breathe in a name for God. Breathe out the desire of your heart. Example: Prince of Peace…Calm my anxious heart.

Those are my thoughts. What would you add? What has been helpful to you?

 

For Days When you Feel Anxious, Scared, or Overwhelmed, part 2

Monday I wrote about the hard days when you feel like you’re between a rock and hard place with no way out, and it can feel like you’re doing something (everything!) wrong.

But what if hard doesn’t mean wrong?

What if hard means that God is birthing something new and beautiful in you and what you’re experiencing is labor pains? 

What if He is birthing strength, dependence, a deeper understanding of His character, patience, love…?

 Be alert, be present. I’m about to do something brand-new. It’s bursting out! Don’t you see it? Isaiah 43:19 MSG

Continue reading

For Days When you Feel Anxious, Scared, or Overwhelmed, Part 1

The winter stretches out before us here in Minnesota – long, gray, and frozen.

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The other day I stopped by to visit a young friend who’s in a dark time, a very wintery time.

She feels overwhelmed, and anxious, “not enough”, and scared.

Everything feels so hard and she’s tempted to look at all the sparkly, easy-breezy lives on Facebook and despair that she alone is struggling to adapt to a new season.

I know this feeling. I’ve been there.

It’s in these vulnerable times that I picture Satan chuckling with glee.

What are some of the lies the Enemy wants us to believe when life’s hard? Continue reading

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