How can I get a mentor?

Consider these steps:

  1. Put yourself in environments where you’re around people who are modeling the life of discipleship you desire.
  2. Identify 3-5 people you admire and would like to spend time with.
  3. Invite each of the people you have identified out to coffee or lunch.  Tell them you would like the opportunity to get to know them better.
  4. Before you meet with them, think of some questions you’d like to ask them.  Consider asking them to share their faith story with you.  Ask them what God has been teaching them lately.  Ask if they had one thing to do differently in their life what would it be.
  5. After you’ve met with the potential mentors you’ve identified, decide if you’d like to ask one of them to enter into a mentoring relationship with more regular contact.
  6. Look at the list of different types of mentors below and decide exactly what it is you desire from a mentoring relationship.
  7. When you meet with someone to ask them to be your mentor, be clear what it is you want from them and why.  What are your goals?  How often would you like to meet?  Even if they have to say  “no” for whatever reason, they will be flattered and you will have benefited from the time together.  Ask them for other suggestions of mentor-types they think it would be good for you to get to know.
  8. Remember there are many different kinds of mentors.  Think outside the box!  Look at the list of different types of mentors.  Any of these you can pursue on your own, or consider the resources we will be offering.

Types of Mentors 

Discipling Mentor

Listens to someone through the study of God’s word (often using a curriculum) and teaches them to listen to God so that it forms how they live.

Situational mentor 

Tutors/coaches in a specific area.  Example:  an older person asking for mentoring from a younger person in the area of technology or social networking.  Or someone asking for mentoring in missional living from someone they see modeling that kind of lifestyle.

Trail Guide 

Mentors trained to help others evaluate where they are on their spiritual journey and suggest potential next steps to help them grow as disciples.  While there is no clear pattern of stepping stones that guarantees spiritual maturity, we can provide some guidance on where to begin walking.

Spiritual Mentor

Listens to the stories of others, (past/present/future) and helps them be attentive and responsive to God working in their life.  Usually less structured than a discipling mentor, sometimes called a Spiritual Director, can be licensed.


Listens to someone’s situation and gives advice and perspective so that s/he can continue to grow in their life. Usually a paid professional.


Motivates, imparts knowledge, and creates experiences for the learner to apply in their life.

(What a teacher does in Bible studies or a pastor does when preaching.  This can include book mentors – authors who teach and influence you over time)


Connects a person with resources or other people that can help guide that person to take the next step in their relationships, work, or spiritual growth. Used in the recovery movement.

Living Model

Provides a positive model for life or ministry that challenges a person to live a life that has integrity and is responsive to God. (may be an author or speaker you don’t personally know, but who has significant impact through their life, words, and work)

Historical Model

A person who is not longer living, yet their life continues to influence those who are living towards a more authentic life. (may influence through biography)