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3 Things to do Now-ish For a Better Christmas Next Year

I sit in front of a cheery fire, late at night, looking at our glowing Christmas tree. It’s still delightful, even with gifts gone from underneath. We’ve had a lovely holiday season in spite of Covid and allofthethings.

We lit candles. We sang carols. We marveled at Christmas lights and lifted our gaze to wonder at stars in the night sky.

Jesus was born in us again. Glory to God in the highest heavens. And glory to God in the lowest stable.

Still, there are things I wish I had done differently.

In the Christmas season, everything is MORE.

We feel everything MORE intensely – the good and the bad. We add in MORE to our already-packed-no-margin schedules. We drink MORE and eat MORE and bake MORE.

And all that MORE comes at a price.

If you’re like me, Advent can creep up on you and all of a sudden you’re in the middle of it, scrambling to fit in everything.

SO here are three things I’m doing to make next year even better:

1. MAKE A LIST NOW!

Right now, make a google doc or a paper list if that’s your jam (make sure to put it in a safe place).

Consider having a conversation with your family if you want to include them. Evaluate Christmas 2021. Discuss these questions:

  • What worked well for Christmas 2021?
  • What mistakes do we want to avoid for Christmas 2022?

List ideas you read about this year that you’d like to do next year.

Consider getting a plastic bin and labeling it Christmas 2022. In it you can put things like books, gifts, Christmas lights, or cards that you buy on sale in January.

HOSPITALITY

What did you bake that you liked?

What menus worked?

Did you entertain too much or do you wish you had done more?

What helped make entertaining less stressful?

Are there specific types of gatherings you’d like to create?

SOUL CARE

What spiritual practices, devotionals, or books did you read that were meaningful? Are there ones you’ve seen others use that you’d like to try next year?

The best things I did this year were to participate in a half day Advent retreat early in December (you can also purchase portable retreats here), and use the Quiet Christmas Collection by Emily P. Freeman.

DECORATING

Take pictures before you take down decorations if you want to duplicate next year. Save links to that mantel you saw on Instagram that you’d like to try. Make note of what needs to be replaced (like Christmas lights).

CREATING

IF you love creating, make a list linking to ideas of things you’d like to make next year. Things you’ve seen for hostess gifts, family traditions, decorating, or party themes.

One of my favorite things I made last year was bottle brush tree stirrers. This year I saw someone skewer each with a big marshmallow for hot chocolate!

One of my favorite food gifts to make is homemade granola.

I’d like to try this Rosemary Salt to give as a hostess gift, and this Star Garland

FAMILY

Are there traditions you’d like to start? I read about this idea from prvrbsthirtyonegirl that I LOVE and even though I don’t have kids at home, I might create one for John and me! Ally and Ryan have one family activity for each day of Advent. You can make your own list that fits with your life stage!

Have you heard about books you’d like to read alone or out loud? Here’s a list of kids’ Christmas and Thanksgiving books.

Every year I used to read The Best Christmas Pageant Ever aloud to the family, a chapter a night. This year my book group read Truman Capote’s A Christmas Memory which would be another good read-aloud for a little bit older kids.

A wonderful novel for the season is Winter Solstice by Rosamunde Pilcher

GIFTS

What are gifts you received that might be a good idea to remember? (Two of our favorites were Lou Malnati’s pizza from Chicago and homemade Lars Bars (which my friend renamed “Laura Bars” 😍 for hiking, along with the recipes! )

Did you hear about a game that another family tried and liked that would be good to get next year? (We got and loved “It’s in the Bag”!)

2. SCHEDULE A DAY LATER

Block off a day on your calendar and label it CHRISTMAS PLANNING DAY.

You can make it whenever you want, but I’d say a day in the week before Thanksgiving would be good. I’ve marked my calendar for Saturday, November 19th. I also try to protect the Sunday, and Monday after Thanksgiving to decorate.

Then put two alerts in – one for a week before and one for two days before so it will actually happen! (I almost forgot this, and believe me, it won’t happen if I don’t have alerts in!)

On this day you’re going to answer questions and make lists and put dates on your calendar.

What do I need to say “no” to in order to say “yes” to the most meaningful things this season?

Since Christmas adds in, are there things you need to cut out in order to make room? How can you manage your expectations? This might even mean talking to your boss if there are extra things required of you at work, and asking what regular responsibilities he or she thinks can be put on hold so that you will have adequate margin.

3. SET YOURSELF UP FOR SUCCESS

On your Christmas planning day, put dates on your calendar – the big things you want to make sure happen. Include scheduling in Sabbaths. Maybe make an appointment for a pedicure if it is in your budget.

Practice saying, “Thank you so much for thinking of me, but I’m already committed and need to say ‘no’ this time.”

If you’re having trouble scheduling your own family celebration plus time with in-laws, decide what’s best for your family and then give in-laws several options to choose from that will work for you. (Someone once told me, you need to approach in-laws like you do toddlers – assure them that you love them and give them acceptable choices :))

Prayerfully hold things lightly. Remember, you’re planning so that you won’t end up being highjacked by every urgent thing that comes up, but there may be last-minute changes you need to make, or holy interruptions that deserve your attention. Commit your plans to the Lord and ask Him to confirm or help you adapt.

Lord help me to move slowly enough to experience Jesus fully and love others deeply.

Plan to practice the Examen during Advent. To help, you can upload the Lectio 365 app. It has an Evening prayer that guides you through a review of your day, helping you to slow down and pay attention to the presence of God in your life – especially valuable in the busy Christmas season.

What ideas have you seen this year that you want to remember for next year? Share with us in the comments!

One Practice to Bring Peace to Your Out-of-Control World

Before 2020 the yearly average number of investigated incidents with unruly passengers on airlines was 143.

In 2021, just since January 1st, there have been 3,715 reports of unruly passengers investigated.

As a friend of ours says, “All the fuzz has worn off.”

We’re raw, easily bumped and bruised and offended.

Because we have all been dealing with so much, we are less likely to feel we have the capacity to extend grace, to expect the best, to submit to others for the greater good.

I think our angry, anxious, defensive posture may be rooted in an underlying feeling of not being safe – so much is out of our control.

I’m with you. This has been an incredibly stressful week. I find myself going back over and over to a practice that helps me. Maybe it will help you too.

First, close your eyes and breathe deeply.

Imagine that you are standing next to a wide, rushing mountain stream, filled with boulders.

You hop from rock to rock until you get to the middle of the stream where there is a huge boulder that has a shallow smooth dip in it, almost like a seat has been carved out for you.

You sit on the boulder watching the water rushing by on all sides.

The rapids represent all the circumstances that threaten to overwhelm you, carry you away, pull you under. But you are safe and secure on the rock.

As you rest there, secure, when worries come to mind, you release them into the water and let it carry them away for now.

You remind yourself of this.

Find rest my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from Him.

Truly He is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will not be shaken.

My salvation and my honor depend on God; He is my mighty rock, my refuge.

Trust in Him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to Him, for God is our refuge.

Psalm 62:5-8

There is something settling, reassuring to me about the boulder I choose to sit on over and over through my day. Are there practices that are helpful to you in this stressful season?

Soul Food When You’re Not Sure What You Feel

I can’t begin to understand what you’re is feeling during this uncertain time. There are so many variables and different challenges and blessings.

For me, some days I feel inspired by the goodness of my fellow humans and I’m full of creative energy trying to figure out new ways to encourage and serve.

But other days I’m overwhelmed with sadness for small businesses, and frontline workers, and the elderly and those around the world who even before Covid_19 were struggling to find enough food to eat.

via GIPHY

This week I’ve been reading a book I highly recommend on lament. It’s called No More Faking Fine. Esther Fleece weaves the story of her painful past with her discovery of God’s invitation to lament and the intimacy that comes with it.

This video makes me think of the biblical pattern of the year of Jubilee from Leviticus 25 – letting the land rest.

Here’s a great idea and resource for parents!

https://www.themomcreative.com/2020/04/coronaviruscapsule.html

This song encouraged me this week after Easter. Maybe you too?

Do what only You can do, Lord

Great insights here…

Take 20 minutes to be strengthened in God’s word?

If you’re not dead, you’re not done! This 99-year-old is trying to complete 100 laps of his garden ahead of his 100th birthday to raise money for health care in Britain.

Lastly, some posts from Instagram to make you smile.

That’s it for me! What’s feeding your soul this week?

Showing up With Lunch

I look around the practically empty German airport terminal at zero dark thirty and pray. Due to a storm, I’ve missed my connection to Zurich, on my way to study at L’Abri in Switzerland. I have no local currency and no good options. It’s in the years before Venmo, before ubiquitous credit card acceptance, and before cash machines. Yes, I’m old. Get over it.

Anyway, I know one person in the entire country. He’s a young pastor, studying for his doctorate. He and his wife live about an hour from Frankfurt. Nervously, I call him collect and without missing a beat, he says, “Stay put. I’m coming to get you.”

When we arrive at his tiny, one bedroom apartment, they already have another young guest bunking with them. They make room for me where there is no room.

The next morning, my friend takes the little he has and shares it with me. He makes me two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on thick, soft slices of homemade bread, puts them in a brown paper bag and drives me to the train station to continue my journey. That brown paper lunch bag has stayed with me as a powerful image of hospitality. God takes our not enough and makes it more than enough.

In the Bible, we see the widow of Zarephath (the least and left behind) with only a handful of flour and a little oil – not enough. But God makes it more than enough to feed both her and the prophet Elijah lunch for days. (1 Kings 17)

There is David, overlooked shepherd boy, told by his dad to be a gofer and take lunch to his brothers – the “important ones” on the battlefield, which positions him to be used by God to show His more than enough power to defeat Goliath. (1 Samuel 17:17ff)

There is the little boy (not even counted as one of the 5,000) who shows up with his lunch, offered as a gift that Jesus doesn’t reject as inadequate, but instead makes more than enough to feed everyone with leftovers! (John 6:1-14)

Instead of focusing on what you don’t have today, what can you offer God that He will lovingly accept and make more than enough to bless others?

My 91 year old aunt shows up with a heart to faithfully pray for others.

My friend Cathy showed up with a car to transport a homeless teen to work.

A kingdom-minded couple we know show up and offer their lake home to be used for ministry retreats.

My friend Heather, shows up with her magical talent for growing and arranging flowers and blesses others through the “Growing Kindness Project”, leaving bouquets to brighten someone’s day.

So often we focus on our “not enough”, when God wants to take what we offer Him and make it “more than enough”. We may not see the results right away, but I believe God will receive our offering with joy.

What “lunch” do you have to offer that feels inadequate? Share in comments and then look for opportunities to let God make it more than enough.

3 Keys to Writing a Love Letter

I just discovered that April is National Letter Writing month! If you know me at all, you know that I think writing notes is a powerful ministry. AND it is such a joy!

I’m betting you, like me, have a drawer of “love letters” – notes you’ve received that have been especially timely, impactful, or encouraging.

Like a squirrel with a stash of nuts he saves for the long winter nights, we may treasure and re-read these nuggets when we need a little encouragement, especially in dark, cold seasons.

What is it that gives love notes such value in your mind?

As I read back over my “stash” here are some of the elements I notice about people who write great notes:

  1. They are SPECIFIC. They recall a specific story, personal touch, greeting, or gift and the way it made them feel. Now I’m not saying everyone needs to be flowery. You need to be yourself. But the best note-writers use sparkling words that call on imagery. Instead of “Thanks for the delicious dinner”, they might write

“Your home is so cozy and welcoming!. The smell of pot roast and the glow of candles mingled with laughter and “yay God!” stories shared around the table were a gift at the end of a stressful day.”

Instead of “Thank you for your encouragement.” they might write

“When you gave me a hug yesterday and said how grateful you are for my service in the nursery it was like Jesus Himself was wrapping His arms around me. You could have rushed on by, but you stopped, and the timing couldn’t have been more perfect. Thank you for the reminder that I’m ‘seen'”.

2. They empathize. They take time to put themselves in your place and name some of the challenges they see. You don’t have to have experienced the same thing, but look for a point of connection.

The notes that were the most moving after David’s death were from people who also have experienced loss. They didn’t just send a note after his death, but write on anniversaries and birthdays, sharing things they miss about David.

The thank you’s for dinners we hosted when I had toddlers “helping” that acknowledged the additional time, sacrifice, and strain to entertain in that season, were greatly appreciated.

3. They’re both timely and unexpected.  I think the notes that may mean the most to me are the ones that don’t come after I’ve given a gift, or hosted an event, but just when someone notices something they appreciate and take the time to write about it.  These notes call out qualities in us that we may not see or hear day to day.

Timing may be as important as the words we use. When I was in college I worked as a volunteer in Young Life. The area director was an amazing role model who taught us the Bible and developed us as leaders. Years later I heard a message on mentors and felt an unmistakable nudge from the Holy Spirit to write my former area director a note and thank him for the role he played in my life. Unfortunately I’ve lost his response, but it included words to the effect, “Your note came at one of the lowest days of my life. I was doubting anything I had done had made a difference. I’m so grateful for the way God encouraged me through your words.”

I love Bob Goff’s idea. Instead of sending birthday cards, he marks his calendar with his friends’ hard or transition days – a change of job, a move to a new home, the loss of a loved one, first season of empty nesting – and writes a note of encouragement then.

Those are some of the things I notice. What would you add that makes a good note? Who might you write today?

As you can probably tell, I’m passionate about note writing! I’ve created a free resource called “A Year of Grace Notes” with 12 prompts plus some suggestions for spiritual reflection to help you get started with this practice. Click here to get yours!

Missing Church

When I was growing up we never missed church.

Really.

I’m sure we must have had one week when someone was sick, but I honestly don’t remember it. “Going to church” was a commitment. It was a given.

Yeah, I know “church” isn’t just a place. It’s not the building.  The New Testament word for “church” is ekklesia, which means “the called out ones.” WE are the church.

But our God cares about places too. He is a God of rhythms, rituals, and rocks. He commanded the Israelites to build a tabernacle, a temple, and to pile stones in specific places so they wouldn’t forget His faithfulness or formation of them. I think “going to church” as an act of worship, is significant. When we “miss church” we miss something more than an item on our to-do list.

In this season of “lasts” for John and I as we anticipate leaving ministry at CPC,  I want to be at church every possible chance I get. I want to be present to all the people in this community I love, and present to God at the same time.

I want to be greeted by Debbie at the door of the Great Room, and sit in “my” pew, and remember all the marking moments I’ve experienced here. I want to serve communion, and receive it too. I want to snag one of Sharon’s famous cookies at the receptionist’s desk when she works on Wednesdays. I want to see Noel in the Bobcat shoveling snow, and hear Jane practicing the organ. I want to eavesdrop as Michelle patiently helps someone who is new and lost and has wandered into the bookstore. I want to hold a baby at Mom’s Morning and pray with the Catalyst community. I want to hug Dinny at the 9:30 service, and give Betsy a kiss in her wheelchair at the 11:00. I want to bring dinner to Families Moving Forward and I want to be run down by rambunctious teens in the hallway on a Wednesday night, and I want to listen as Heather leads the littles in choir song.

I don’t want to miss church. 

Each of these things by themselves is not dramatically significant. But together, like dots of color in an impressionist painting, they create a picture of how God has been forming me.  

Like one of my favorite verses says, “Do not despise the day of small things.” (Zechariah 4:10)

As much as I crave being present in the actual church building these days, it’s rarely convenient to go to church. I may be tired, or want to meet friends for brunch, or there’s snow (dontcha know). But in going at a time I don’t choose, maybe I cooperate with God in my formation as well as worship Him.

The people who sit around me in the pews aren’t always people who are easy for me to love. I may run into someone who’s been super critical, or has different political leanings than I do, or is awkward to talk to. Maybe by not missing church Jesus forms me into a tiny bit more gracious, empathetic person.

The songs we sing aren’t always my favorites. There may be fussy toddlers who are distracting, and sometimes I would rather be making my to-do list instead of trying to listen for God’s Word to me. Sometimes the prayers go too long or the silence is too short. But perhaps Jesus is using these to form patience, or tolerance, or humility in me.

The inconveniences of “going to church”  are exactly the reasons that it’s important for me not to miss. Because bit by bit, God is going to use these things to make me more like Him if I pay attention.

Church isn’t easy. It takes patience and prayer and perseverance. We’re broken people with rough edges, rubbing against each other as we try to follow Jesus. But God uses this proximity to each other and to Him, to create something beautiful.

As John and I transition out of ministry at CPC, we won’t miss church on Sundays (we’ll go to church somewhere!), but we’ll sure miss this church where God has showed up and showed off, and formed us into the people we are today. 

A One Word Challenge for November

I burst into the house, arms full of groceries. “John, you’re never going to believe this!” I say to my husband who is watching a football game on T.V. “I had TWO, not one but TWO people thank me for my patience standing in lines today! Can you believe that???”

I am NOT a patient person! And I get impatient with myself for BEING impatient! But this is one of the fruits of the Spirit that has been my Word for the year. Although no-one will ever describe me as patient, there are tiny victories where I see the Holy Spirit exhibiting patience through me.

So here’s your One Word challenge for November: Celebrate even small wins!

Example: I HATE technology. It’s detail-y and unreliable and evil I’m convinced. As a person of little patience, it can drive me crazy when it doesn’t respond the way I want immediately. The other day I was preparing to speak and I had created a power point presentation to go with my talk. I opened it, but all it showed was a blank screen. I took a deep breath and tried opening it about 5 different ways. Then I went to a flash drive I thought I had saved it on, and tried that way. No luck.

Here’s where the win comes in. In the past I would have given up and either called my tech-savvy friend Heather to come over, or just scrapped it. Instead, this time I persevered and took it on as a creative problem-solving challenge (like a spy assignment!). Eventually I cracked the code and celebrated this small evidence of progress in the area of patience and perseverance – fruit of the Spirit, not fruit of Laura.

Share one of your small wins in the comments! If you get this in email, just click on the title and it will take you to the website where you scroll down to leave a comment. If this is your first or second time to comment, don’t worry if it doesn’t show up immediately…it will! Looking forward to hearing from you!

A One Word Challenge for June

You know something I think many of us aren’t good at as Christians? Celebrating.

I think we’re pretty good at beating ourselves up, and judging others, comparing with others, and rationalizing stuff, but enjoying small wins where we see God at work bringing about change in our lives? Not so much.

I feel guilty and self-conscious noting accomplishments. Pride goes before a fall and all that. (Proverbs 16:18)

But the Bible talks about celebrations, festivals, and feasts. They are meant to generate thanksgiving, mindfulness, and praise of the Lord. The difference between patting ourselves on the back and what God describes in His Word is the orientation. Here are just a few examples.

Celebrate God. Sing together—everyone! All you honest hearts, raise the roof! Psalm 32:11

“This will be a memorial day for you; you will celebrate it as a festival to God down through the generations.” Exodus 12:14

Dress your priests up in salvation clothes, let your holy people celebrate goodness. 2 Chronicles6:41

Hezekiah and the congregation celebrated: God had established a firm foundation for the lives of the people—and so quickly! 2 Chronicles 29:36

Is my celebration all about me, Me, ME, or am I acknowledging God’s gracious work in my life?

It’s June. We’re halfway through 2018. Most of us who chose One Word have been at least vaguely aware of it. I’ve posted a kick in the pants at the beginning of each month to try to help us cooperate with the work God may want to do in our lives around the word we chose. But this month, let’s celebrate! What is at least one small win you can thank God for? 

Post a “win” in the comments. If you receive this through email all you need to do is click on the title. It will take you to the post and you just scroll down to leave a comment. If you haven’t commented before, it won’t show up immediately, but don’t worry, it will eventually! 

I’ll go first. My word is “fruit” as in the “fruit of the spirit”. Specifically I’m challenged with the patience and perseverance required to finish scary, challenging, long-term tasks. Reminding myself that it is the all-powerful spirit of God in me that enables this, instead of my own grit alone, helps. It also helps to remember my “why”. One of my small wins was persevering through technical challenges and finishing my first freebie (You can click here to get it.) with automated follow up welcome emails. The reason this is important is because I want to get life-giving resources into your hands and to build relationships – to reassure you this is a safe, and nurturing place to connect with Jesus and others.

Ok, your turn! What win can you celebrate?

 

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Books, Recipes, and Resources To Refresh You This Summer!

Woohooo! Summer finally arrived in Minnesota! April 15th we had a blizzard, and May  25th we had 90 degree plus temperatures. Oh Minnesota, you keep us on our toes! When summer finally arrives, cabins open and church attendance drops by one million percent because no one wants go go indoors ever. And it’s all good. We play hard while we can.

Summer is my jam. I feel more fully alive than any other time of year. Summer is lakes and biking and picnics and good books and refreshment. So I thought I’d share a few of my favorite things from the past month.

First, books. But even before that, a disclaimer: I find it really hard to review books because we all read through the lenses of our age, experience, and current circumstances. Something I think is “Meh” you may think changed your life. Ok, onward…

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2 Guiding Principles for Tough Seasons of Leadership

“Leadership is a series of hard conversations.” A friend of ours said this to us years ago, and it has proven to be uncomfortably true.

Sometimes we’re on the initiating end of the hard conversation, sometimes on the receiving end. Many times both.

Sometimes people are observing hard conversations from afar and feel the need to pass judgment.

In ministry leadership, we invest more deeply, and get hurt more profoundly…Maybe it’s because of our perceptions of what love should look like – all grace no truth. Maybe it’s because we feel a deeper connection to each other in the Body of Christ, and therefore have a deeper sense of betrayal when we’re on the receiving end of a hard conversation. Maybe it’s because we’re all so, so human and as hard as we try, We. All. Mess. Up.

Recently my husband and I have been in a windstorm – on both the initiating end, and the receiving end of hard conversations, all of us doing our best.

Can I suggest two principles as we all walk through leadership challenges and hard conversations in different contexts?

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