I read what’s on my computer and feel like I’ve been slapped in the face as I sit at a table in Starbucks. Tears leak out, running down my cheeks and I dash to grab some napkins, turning my face to the wall, hoping no one will notice.
I know I’m not alone. We’ve all had moments like this.
- Someone who’s opinion you value, rejects you through words or actions.
- You don’t get the job.
- A friend doesn’t show up.
- There’s a silent undercurrent of disapproval in a relationship.
- The invite doesn’t come.
- Someone you admire unfollows, unfriends, unsubscribes, un-whatevers
You wonder if you’ve been used and discarded, if you’re unself-aware, if you were stupid for thinking you had something to offer of value to the relationship, or the job, or the community, or anyone anywhere in the entire universe.
And you tell yourself it shouldn’t matter. Your true self is the one that is valued and cherished by God. No.Matter. What.
You tell yourself that the opinion of “that person” shouldn’t have power over you. But it does.
When you settle down with God you see choices.
You can curl up in a fetal ball hide under your covers, and listen to show tunes.
- You can let “it” (whatever “it” is) go and let grace cover it. It’s not worth investing emotion and energy in. Move on.
- You can question God for better understanding. “Lord what can I learn about me and You through this? What is underneath this emotion that needs attention?”
- You can question the “other” for better understanding. In some situations, if you’ve been hurt by a particular person, the best thing you can do is confess this and say, “Help me understand…” (This takes tremendous courage, but can be most redemptive).
- You can put up some protective boundaries. That may mean turning off, or turning away from relationships, experiences, or technology that is unhealthy for your soul. It may mean turning towards that which will strengthen you.
“In the end, the answer to all our questions and problems is not to be found in who we are, but in who God is.” Nikki Gumbel